Post by Islamic Revival on Feb 17, 2005 1:56:23 GMT -5
"We are a society in transition. The old models have collapsed. We are not stable in the way that our grandparents were stable. This is frightening for us as individuals and as a culture, and it would be simpler to try to retreat. The truth is that it's too late to go back. We have to go forward, through this troubled time, and keep bright our commitment to change." Jeanette Winterson, 'The Guardian', May 2004.
Over the last few decades the concept of family and what this consists of has undergone many changes in the West. The 1950s image of the hard-working and dedicated husband, the housewife baking cookies, and their obedient and well-mannered son and daughter are now seen as a relic of the past. The old values of close-knit families living near each other, pulling together in times of trouble, and going to church on Sundays are now only remembered from Enid Blyton story books and television series such as 'The Waltons'. These are now criticised for being idealistic and even sexist and backward, with the mother's role being confined to the home and the father being 'head of the family'. These images have been replaced with the modern day dysfunctional family as seen in programmes such as 'Party of Five' and 'Dawson's Creek'.
Governments of the past have paid lip service to supporting the family. Ex-Prime Minister John Major launched a 'Back to Basics' campaign in the last Conservative government, when he called for a return to the traditional and basic British family values. Tony Blair has also portrayed an image of having an ideal well-adjusted family. However these images have fallen apart, as after the 'Back to Basics' campaign a stream of Tory scandals became public, namely the affair of the then Minister David Mellor. Recently, it has emerged that John Major himself was having an affair with his colleague Edwina Currie during his cabinet career. Similarly Tony Blair came under fire when police picked up his son, Euan, for being drunk in the street. This has led to debate and discussion as to which is the best family model? Is the old model outdated? Or should there even be one at all? Why have these changes occurred? Surely the epitome of free living is for people themselves to define what they feel is family?
THE NEW WESTERN FAMILY
Naturally, the starting point of a family is a man and woman marrying to have children. However the institution of marriage is under threat in Western society. Partnership formation has changed over the last 30 years. The proportion of married people has fallen, while the proportions of cohabiting, single and divorced people have increased. 1 in 4 women aged between 18-49 are co-habiting, the average time of the relationship lasting is just 39 months. Over 40% of children are born outside of marriage. Marriage is occurring much later on in life, or not all as some people believe it to be unnecessary. This translates into insecurity for both men and women, as they do not legally have any rights upon each other. People start to live together easily and then just as easily leave each other. Women usually have to become the breadwinners, being left to raise the children alone. Figures from the Child Support Agency highlight the amount of men who conveniently 'disappear' when asked for maintenance.
The roles in marriage have also been left to the whims and desires of the man and woman. These roles have therefore changed over the years. Men are no longer the primary breadwinners and sometimes feel undermined by their wives working and neglecting the home and children. Women, having been influenced by feminism, believe that equality means taking on the man's role of earning and being the decision maker. They view material gain and career advancement as more beneficial and fulfilling than raising children.
FAMILY BREAK-UPS AND THEIR EFFECTS
There has recently been a rise in divorce. Over 40 % of marriages end in divorce, the average length being nine years. Again the trends in society breed insecurity between partners, and children also face futures in one-parent families. Western culture is dominated by sexual promiscuity, with people jumping from relationship to relationship trying to fulfil themselves and find the 'one'. No human being would choose to live in such a situation, which is why studies consistently show the adverse effects that family breakdowns have upon the individuals involved. Women are more prone to depression after suffering a divorce and the suicide rate has increased amongst men, which has been partly attributed to family break-ups. Insecurity is so prevalent that womens magazines are full of advice concerning how to get a man and more importantly, how to keep him.
The effect of family changes upon children is disastrous. One of the biggest problems is that increasingly more children are born to teenage mothers. A recent UNICEF report named Britain as having the highest rate of teenage pregnancy in Europe and the second highest in the world, the USA being the first. The Government has realised this trend and has introduced half-hearted solutions, highlighted by the recent ludicrous strategy that was aimed at teenagers to teach them more about sexual practises such as oral sex, in an attempt to curb this increasing trend.1 in 10 children are born to teenage mothers. UNICEF added that Korea and Japan were the lowest due to their 'traditional values'. Studies have shown time and again that children from single-parent families do not perform as well educationally as children from married homes. They are more likely to commit crime, and to lack good social and communication skills. In 2001 23% of children lived in a lone parent family.
There is an epidemic of 'latch-key children' who return from school to an empty house. Many parents are therefore unaware of what their children are doing, who they are with, or even if they are safe. The rise in truancy and delinquency are the effects of leaving children without guidance from the family home. Children from broken homes are also facing real danger. A Childline survey showed that 5000 children a week suffer the pain and anguish of a broken home. A child whose mother is living with a partner (not their father) is 33 times more likely to be exposed to abuse than a child living with its natural parents. At least 920,000 children in Britain are living in a home where one or both parents have a problem with alcohol. There have also been increases in domestic violence.
The relationship between parent and child has also significantly changed from before, where children no longer show respect and deference to their parents, and the parent no longer disciplines and directs the child. Children are now viewed as equals to their parents and have the right to privacy and to make their own decisions.
The mentalities of family members have also changed drastically. Individuals now only give importance to themselves, they seek to achieve what they want, and if their family members do not give this to them they easily estrange themselves or neglect their relatives. Parents leave their children if they feel that they are a burden, and neglect them for the sake of their own career, their new partner, or their 'night out.' Children in return often leave home at the first chance they get, and return only at Christmas or if they need financial assistance. A common occurrence in Western societies is for people to live near, and see their friends more than their families. Even the relationships between siblings are strained and based upon the benefit that each can gain from one another.
ADAM AND STEVE, NOT ADAM AND EVE
There has also been a rise in 'alternative' family structures due to all barriers being shed and all freedoms becoming dominant, regardless of the negative effects upon children. Gay weddings and adoption have become recognised by law. This, along with the desire to have a child however people want, has led to a rise in surrogacy, the use of sperm banks, and even the advertising of children on the internet for sale by their birth parent, as in the recent case of Moira Greenslade. Children have become a commodity along with everything else in a Capitalist state.
The attitude towards old people is an example of a significant change in recent decades. Whereas previously extended families took care of grandparents, Old People's Homes are now a norm and totally acceptable in society, or even the leaving of old parents to fend for themselves. Many cases have arisen where old people have died unnoticed, with their children only coming to claim their inheritance. A government report stated that combined with the abuse in Old People's Homes, 1 million elderly people were victims of cruelty and neglect. Some horrific examples include Margaret Barr, 85, who had her fingernails ripped out by a nursing home carer, and Honora Derham, 82, who died in agony after nursing home staff failed to notice bedsores were slowly rotting away her body, down to her spine. Honora was given only paracetamol for the pain, and a specialist said her condition was the worst he'd seen.
Over the last few decades the concept of family and what this consists of has undergone many changes in the West. The 1950s image of the hard-working and dedicated husband, the housewife baking cookies, and their obedient and well-mannered son and daughter are now seen as a relic of the past. The old values of close-knit families living near each other, pulling together in times of trouble, and going to church on Sundays are now only remembered from Enid Blyton story books and television series such as 'The Waltons'. These are now criticised for being idealistic and even sexist and backward, with the mother's role being confined to the home and the father being 'head of the family'. These images have been replaced with the modern day dysfunctional family as seen in programmes such as 'Party of Five' and 'Dawson's Creek'.
Governments of the past have paid lip service to supporting the family. Ex-Prime Minister John Major launched a 'Back to Basics' campaign in the last Conservative government, when he called for a return to the traditional and basic British family values. Tony Blair has also portrayed an image of having an ideal well-adjusted family. However these images have fallen apart, as after the 'Back to Basics' campaign a stream of Tory scandals became public, namely the affair of the then Minister David Mellor. Recently, it has emerged that John Major himself was having an affair with his colleague Edwina Currie during his cabinet career. Similarly Tony Blair came under fire when police picked up his son, Euan, for being drunk in the street. This has led to debate and discussion as to which is the best family model? Is the old model outdated? Or should there even be one at all? Why have these changes occurred? Surely the epitome of free living is for people themselves to define what they feel is family?
THE NEW WESTERN FAMILY
Naturally, the starting point of a family is a man and woman marrying to have children. However the institution of marriage is under threat in Western society. Partnership formation has changed over the last 30 years. The proportion of married people has fallen, while the proportions of cohabiting, single and divorced people have increased. 1 in 4 women aged between 18-49 are co-habiting, the average time of the relationship lasting is just 39 months. Over 40% of children are born outside of marriage. Marriage is occurring much later on in life, or not all as some people believe it to be unnecessary. This translates into insecurity for both men and women, as they do not legally have any rights upon each other. People start to live together easily and then just as easily leave each other. Women usually have to become the breadwinners, being left to raise the children alone. Figures from the Child Support Agency highlight the amount of men who conveniently 'disappear' when asked for maintenance.
The roles in marriage have also been left to the whims and desires of the man and woman. These roles have therefore changed over the years. Men are no longer the primary breadwinners and sometimes feel undermined by their wives working and neglecting the home and children. Women, having been influenced by feminism, believe that equality means taking on the man's role of earning and being the decision maker. They view material gain and career advancement as more beneficial and fulfilling than raising children.
FAMILY BREAK-UPS AND THEIR EFFECTS
There has recently been a rise in divorce. Over 40 % of marriages end in divorce, the average length being nine years. Again the trends in society breed insecurity between partners, and children also face futures in one-parent families. Western culture is dominated by sexual promiscuity, with people jumping from relationship to relationship trying to fulfil themselves and find the 'one'. No human being would choose to live in such a situation, which is why studies consistently show the adverse effects that family breakdowns have upon the individuals involved. Women are more prone to depression after suffering a divorce and the suicide rate has increased amongst men, which has been partly attributed to family break-ups. Insecurity is so prevalent that womens magazines are full of advice concerning how to get a man and more importantly, how to keep him.
The effect of family changes upon children is disastrous. One of the biggest problems is that increasingly more children are born to teenage mothers. A recent UNICEF report named Britain as having the highest rate of teenage pregnancy in Europe and the second highest in the world, the USA being the first. The Government has realised this trend and has introduced half-hearted solutions, highlighted by the recent ludicrous strategy that was aimed at teenagers to teach them more about sexual practises such as oral sex, in an attempt to curb this increasing trend.1 in 10 children are born to teenage mothers. UNICEF added that Korea and Japan were the lowest due to their 'traditional values'. Studies have shown time and again that children from single-parent families do not perform as well educationally as children from married homes. They are more likely to commit crime, and to lack good social and communication skills. In 2001 23% of children lived in a lone parent family.
There is an epidemic of 'latch-key children' who return from school to an empty house. Many parents are therefore unaware of what their children are doing, who they are with, or even if they are safe. The rise in truancy and delinquency are the effects of leaving children without guidance from the family home. Children from broken homes are also facing real danger. A Childline survey showed that 5000 children a week suffer the pain and anguish of a broken home. A child whose mother is living with a partner (not their father) is 33 times more likely to be exposed to abuse than a child living with its natural parents. At least 920,000 children in Britain are living in a home where one or both parents have a problem with alcohol. There have also been increases in domestic violence.
The relationship between parent and child has also significantly changed from before, where children no longer show respect and deference to their parents, and the parent no longer disciplines and directs the child. Children are now viewed as equals to their parents and have the right to privacy and to make their own decisions.
The mentalities of family members have also changed drastically. Individuals now only give importance to themselves, they seek to achieve what they want, and if their family members do not give this to them they easily estrange themselves or neglect their relatives. Parents leave their children if they feel that they are a burden, and neglect them for the sake of their own career, their new partner, or their 'night out.' Children in return often leave home at the first chance they get, and return only at Christmas or if they need financial assistance. A common occurrence in Western societies is for people to live near, and see their friends more than their families. Even the relationships between siblings are strained and based upon the benefit that each can gain from one another.
ADAM AND STEVE, NOT ADAM AND EVE
There has also been a rise in 'alternative' family structures due to all barriers being shed and all freedoms becoming dominant, regardless of the negative effects upon children. Gay weddings and adoption have become recognised by law. This, along with the desire to have a child however people want, has led to a rise in surrogacy, the use of sperm banks, and even the advertising of children on the internet for sale by their birth parent, as in the recent case of Moira Greenslade. Children have become a commodity along with everything else in a Capitalist state.
The attitude towards old people is an example of a significant change in recent decades. Whereas previously extended families took care of grandparents, Old People's Homes are now a norm and totally acceptable in society, or even the leaving of old parents to fend for themselves. Many cases have arisen where old people have died unnoticed, with their children only coming to claim their inheritance. A government report stated that combined with the abuse in Old People's Homes, 1 million elderly people were victims of cruelty and neglect. Some horrific examples include Margaret Barr, 85, who had her fingernails ripped out by a nursing home carer, and Honora Derham, 82, who died in agony after nursing home staff failed to notice bedsores were slowly rotting away her body, down to her spine. Honora was given only paracetamol for the pain, and a specialist said her condition was the worst he'd seen.