Post by maruf on Oct 25, 2004 8:04:59 GMT -5
INTERVIEW WITH A MUSLIM FAMILY
uploaded 19 Jun 2004
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INTERVIEW WITH A MUSLIM FAMILY
Family conflicts and breakdowns are becoming all too common in the West with almost 1 in every 5 families affected in one way or another. The family structure has become confused to the point where the relationship between family members is characterised by conflict and disharmony. Alternative family units are emerging with different roles for men and women shaped by the ideas of gender equality, diversity and sexual freedom. The recent controversy over the legalisation of gay marriages in the US State of Massachusetts has added more fuel to the debate about the traditional family and its relevance in the modern age.
For this month’s Khilafah magazine, I have interviewed a Muslim family. More specifically, I have sought the views of one member of this family and his experience in living as a family in the West. Mohammed Yazdan works as a full time driving instructor for BSM. He has been married for 10 years and has four children, two boys and two girls. Mohammed is also a co-founder of a small Islamic school to which he now sends his own children.
Kosser Mohammed: What are your views on family life in the West?
Mohammed Yazdan: Family life is very selfish and self-centred. A female colleague at work was telling me how she couldn’t wait for her parents to go on their summer holiday so she can be free from the burden of looking after them. She wants to move out of her house as soon as possible and her parents also want her to move out and become independent. I don’t see a clear and defined relationship between families here in the West, people only think about themselves. People care more for their cats and dogs than they care for their own children. Parents let their children do as they wish and so the kids end up on drugs and a life of crime. In fact, the child is more of a hobby than a responsibility. The women want to progress in their careers hence employing a nanny to look after the children. The men are working late and hardly see their children at all. Nowadays, children are growing up not knowing who their father is due to teenage pregnancies and single parents. Children are growing up and finding out that they have two ‘daddies’ or two ‘mummies’. Family life is in a mess.
KM: Have you encountered any personal experiences of this?
MY: Yes many. In my work place most of the people don’t want to get married because of the commitment involved. I know a person who got married, spent a lot of money on his wedding but was seeing very little of his wife due to work. His wife was working part time and then she became full time. Her career became more important to her and no one could look after the child so they divorced. Also, my friend told me about his neighbours; a husband and wife with 5 children. Husband and wife are now separated, children live with the mother. Father comes home from time to time banging on the door and smashing windows. The children have started drinking and now take drugs. They terrorise people in their neighbourhood and the parents do nothing to stop them.
KM: As a Muslim living in the West how is your life different to that of any other family?
MY: Well, the fundamental difference is that I follow Islam. My deen defines a specific role for the husband and wife and that of the children. The behaviour between my wife and I is built on the Islamic manners and morals. So when a disagreement arises it is simple to solve because we both seek the answer from the same source hence dealing with the matter in a unified way.
KM: Can you elaborate a little further?
MY: My role is to go out and work to provide for my family, although this is not to say my wife cannot work. I am saying that the responsibility from Islam has been defined and is on me to bring home the ‘bread’ for my wife and children. My wife has several roles; one is for herself to maintain the Islamic dress code in public and private wherever applicable. Also to look after the children, to feed and wash them. However, I do help in these areas when needed.
In the West homosexuality is an open thing to the extent where people are forced to accept the idea or become an outcast. I do not except such values as freedom because they have no limits. I can’t accept my son growing up and wanting to be gay or my daughter wanting to be a lesbian. Individualism is also a major component within the Western family make up. The daughter can do as she wishes after she becomes 16. As for the woman, if she wants to stay independent and free this results in couples not having children or having them late because they see them as a burden. The West has the highest rates of adultery. After the initial ‘love at first sight’ fades both partners go looking elsewhere. So the difference between my life and that of the troubled couples in the West is that I have a very well defined criterion of which neither me nor my wife is willing to compromise on. We both hold dear to the Islamic Social System as it is from the Creator, Allah I.
KM: Give me an example of your daily family routine?
MY: I wake up for (Fajr) morning prayers, as do my wife and children. Later in the morning my wife would make me breakfast and I would kiss the children goodbye and go to work. My wife will usually phone me at work to find out what time I will be arriving so she can prepare dinner for me. Whilst I am at work my wife will clean and clothe the children and get them ready for school. When I arrive home the children will usually jump on me to greet me and I will hug and kiss them all and get ready for dinner. We all sit down for a family meal and talk about what every body did during the day. After dinner I would spend some time with the children and my wife. I often go out to the mosque or to visit people.
KM: Are your children going to state school?
MY: No, and they are not yet old enough to go to secondary school. But I actually started an Islamic school at the back of my house for the children in my area. Now my children go to this Islamic school. My eldest son was in state primary school until he started to bring home Christmas cards, Dewali cards along with strange ideas such as all religions are the same. Due to these natural concerns as a Muslim parent I decided enough was enough and took him out of state school and established a small school. Alhumdulillah, we now have a bigger building and many students in the school. State education is getting increasingly explicit; I have heard that teachers are now explaining to children the merits of oral sex as a safer alternative as part of the sex education curriculum. I cannot allow my children to be a part of that. I want them to learn the Islamic way. Previously, my son could hardly read but since he has been out of state education and learning in the Islamic school he can now read books.
uploaded 19 Jun 2004
ÈöÓúãö Çááåö ÇáÑøóÍúãäö ÇáÑøóÍöíãöö
INTERVIEW WITH A MUSLIM FAMILY
Family conflicts and breakdowns are becoming all too common in the West with almost 1 in every 5 families affected in one way or another. The family structure has become confused to the point where the relationship between family members is characterised by conflict and disharmony. Alternative family units are emerging with different roles for men and women shaped by the ideas of gender equality, diversity and sexual freedom. The recent controversy over the legalisation of gay marriages in the US State of Massachusetts has added more fuel to the debate about the traditional family and its relevance in the modern age.
For this month’s Khilafah magazine, I have interviewed a Muslim family. More specifically, I have sought the views of one member of this family and his experience in living as a family in the West. Mohammed Yazdan works as a full time driving instructor for BSM. He has been married for 10 years and has four children, two boys and two girls. Mohammed is also a co-founder of a small Islamic school to which he now sends his own children.
Kosser Mohammed: What are your views on family life in the West?
Mohammed Yazdan: Family life is very selfish and self-centred. A female colleague at work was telling me how she couldn’t wait for her parents to go on their summer holiday so she can be free from the burden of looking after them. She wants to move out of her house as soon as possible and her parents also want her to move out and become independent. I don’t see a clear and defined relationship between families here in the West, people only think about themselves. People care more for their cats and dogs than they care for their own children. Parents let their children do as they wish and so the kids end up on drugs and a life of crime. In fact, the child is more of a hobby than a responsibility. The women want to progress in their careers hence employing a nanny to look after the children. The men are working late and hardly see their children at all. Nowadays, children are growing up not knowing who their father is due to teenage pregnancies and single parents. Children are growing up and finding out that they have two ‘daddies’ or two ‘mummies’. Family life is in a mess.
KM: Have you encountered any personal experiences of this?
MY: Yes many. In my work place most of the people don’t want to get married because of the commitment involved. I know a person who got married, spent a lot of money on his wedding but was seeing very little of his wife due to work. His wife was working part time and then she became full time. Her career became more important to her and no one could look after the child so they divorced. Also, my friend told me about his neighbours; a husband and wife with 5 children. Husband and wife are now separated, children live with the mother. Father comes home from time to time banging on the door and smashing windows. The children have started drinking and now take drugs. They terrorise people in their neighbourhood and the parents do nothing to stop them.
KM: As a Muslim living in the West how is your life different to that of any other family?
MY: Well, the fundamental difference is that I follow Islam. My deen defines a specific role for the husband and wife and that of the children. The behaviour between my wife and I is built on the Islamic manners and morals. So when a disagreement arises it is simple to solve because we both seek the answer from the same source hence dealing with the matter in a unified way.
KM: Can you elaborate a little further?
MY: My role is to go out and work to provide for my family, although this is not to say my wife cannot work. I am saying that the responsibility from Islam has been defined and is on me to bring home the ‘bread’ for my wife and children. My wife has several roles; one is for herself to maintain the Islamic dress code in public and private wherever applicable. Also to look after the children, to feed and wash them. However, I do help in these areas when needed.
In the West homosexuality is an open thing to the extent where people are forced to accept the idea or become an outcast. I do not except such values as freedom because they have no limits. I can’t accept my son growing up and wanting to be gay or my daughter wanting to be a lesbian. Individualism is also a major component within the Western family make up. The daughter can do as she wishes after she becomes 16. As for the woman, if she wants to stay independent and free this results in couples not having children or having them late because they see them as a burden. The West has the highest rates of adultery. After the initial ‘love at first sight’ fades both partners go looking elsewhere. So the difference between my life and that of the troubled couples in the West is that I have a very well defined criterion of which neither me nor my wife is willing to compromise on. We both hold dear to the Islamic Social System as it is from the Creator, Allah I.
KM: Give me an example of your daily family routine?
MY: I wake up for (Fajr) morning prayers, as do my wife and children. Later in the morning my wife would make me breakfast and I would kiss the children goodbye and go to work. My wife will usually phone me at work to find out what time I will be arriving so she can prepare dinner for me. Whilst I am at work my wife will clean and clothe the children and get them ready for school. When I arrive home the children will usually jump on me to greet me and I will hug and kiss them all and get ready for dinner. We all sit down for a family meal and talk about what every body did during the day. After dinner I would spend some time with the children and my wife. I often go out to the mosque or to visit people.
KM: Are your children going to state school?
MY: No, and they are not yet old enough to go to secondary school. But I actually started an Islamic school at the back of my house for the children in my area. Now my children go to this Islamic school. My eldest son was in state primary school until he started to bring home Christmas cards, Dewali cards along with strange ideas such as all religions are the same. Due to these natural concerns as a Muslim parent I decided enough was enough and took him out of state school and established a small school. Alhumdulillah, we now have a bigger building and many students in the school. State education is getting increasingly explicit; I have heard that teachers are now explaining to children the merits of oral sex as a safer alternative as part of the sex education curriculum. I cannot allow my children to be a part of that. I want them to learn the Islamic way. Previously, my son could hardly read but since he has been out of state education and learning in the Islamic school he can now read books.
