Are your friends worth it?

[Islamic Revival]

Are Your Friends Worth it?

Does your friend fit these traits of a sincere, loving, and true friend?

Does he help you become a better and productive person? It’s a mistaken belief that a ‘good friend likes you for what you are’. A sincere friend inspires you, either with words or actions, to improve your personality and situation.

In a beautiful analogy, the Prophet likened the company of a sincere friend to visiting a perfume seller. Every time you visit the perfume seller, you benefit from his shop: You get some perfume as a present, or you buy some from him or, at the least, you obtain a beautiful fragrance from his company. [Bukhari & Muslim]

Is she like a mirror to you? The Prophet stated, “The believer is like a mirror to other believers (in truthfulness).” [Abu Daud].

Like a mirror, your friend gives you an honest image. She forgives your mistakes, but does not hide or exaggerate your strengths and weaknesses.

Do his manners and lifestyle remind you of Allah? Once the Prophet was asked, “What person can be the best friend?” “He who helps you remember Allah, and reminds you when you forget Him,” he counselled.

The Prophet was further asked, “Who is the best among people?” He replied, “He who, when you look at him, you remember God”. Such a friend reflects qualities of love, mercy, honesty, service, patience, optimism, professionalism, and the entire lifestyle taught by Islam.

Does he love you solely for the sake of Allah? The bonds we form at work, school and in the neighbourhood may whither over time if they are not built for the right reason. Friendship based on Islamic
principles is sincere and everlasting, since it is strengthened by a higher purpose and fervent faith.

Do you feel comfortable and secure in her presence? If your friend’s company makes you feel guilty about the things you do and thoughts you share, you must question the benefit of this relationship.

Consider the wise saying: “Being alone is better than having an evil companion and having a sincere companion is better than being alone.”

If your friend does not like you for the beauty of your character, intelligence, morality, and sincerity, you deserve better!

[maruf]

The whole document can be found here:

www.islam1.org/al-iman/TheMuslimandFriendsinIslam3.doc

was-salaam


The Muslim and Friends in Islam

The Muslim Loves Them for the Sake of Allah
One of the most prominent, distinguishing features of the true Muslim is love for friends and brothers/sisters in faith, a love that is untainted by any worldly interests or ulterior motives. This is true brotherly love, whose purity is derived from the light of Islamic guidance; its effect on the behavior of Muslims is quite unique in the history of human relationships.
The Muslim does not Forsake or Abandon His/Her

Brother/Sister

The true Muslim, who understands the teachings of Islam, knows that the religion calls for love, continued contact and mutual affection, and forbids brothers/sisters in faith to hate or abandon one another.

The Muslim is Tolerant and Forgiving Towards Them
If the Muslim becomes angry with a friend, the true Muslim restrains anger and is quick to forgive, and does not see any shame in doing so. Rather, the Muslim sees it as a good deed that will bring closeness to Allah and earn His love, which He bestows only on those who do good.

The Muslim Meets Them with a Smiling Face
The Muslim should always be pure of heart and cheerful of countenance. The Muslim should not meet a friend except with warmth and smiles.

The Muslim is Sincere Towards Them
The true Muslim is sincere towards Allah, His book, His Prophets and to the leaders and the masses of the Muslims.

The Muslim has a Natural Inclination Towards Kindness and Faithfulness
Islam instills in its followers the characteristics of kindness and faithfulness towards one’s friends; it even includes the parents’ friends. Thus the true Muslim appreciates the value of faithfulness and the value of the ties of brotherhood and friendship.

The Muslim does not Gossip about Them

The true Muslim does not gossip or backbite about or against his/her brothers, sisters and friends. The Muslim knows that gossip is haram.
The Muslim Avoids Arguing with Them, Making Hurtful Jokes and Breaking Promises
Among the good manners of the true Muslim are: he does not exhaust a friend with futile arguments, he does not annoy them with hurtful jokes and he does not break a promise made to them.

The Muslim is Generous and Prefers the Friend over Self

The true Muslim is generous and spends freely on his/her brothers/sisters/friends. Naturally the brothers/sisters/friends should all be righteous believers.

The Muslim prays for Brothers/Sisters in their Absence

The sincere Muslim, who truly likes for others what one likes for oneself, does not forget to pray for others in their absence, which is a practical demonstration of love and care. The Muslim knows that this is the prayer that is most quickly answered because it is characterized by sincerity and purity.

[maruf]

Again, the whole article can be found here:

www.khilafah.com/home/category.php?DocumentID=6160&TagID=24

was-salaam


Friendship in Islam

Islam recognises that a Muslim will naturally spend more time with certain people and be more comfortable with them in raising their personal problems and issues. This does not mean in any way that the rest of the Muslims are not their brothers and sisters whom they love, rather all that it means that they will be closer to certain people than others just as people are usually closer to their family than others.

Islam recognises that friends have a strong influence on people and that their environment will affect the strength of their relationship with Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’aala). The Prophet (SallAllahu alaihi wasallam) said,

ÇáãÑÁ Úáì Ïíä Îáíáå ÝáíäÙÑ ÃÍÏßã ãä íÎÇáá<br>“A person follows the Deen (way of life) of his close friend; therefore let each of you look carefully at whom he chooses for friends” [Tirmidhi]

A Muslim should choose friends that will advise him and remind him of Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’aala) rather than lure him to the path of Shaytan. It has also been narrated that our friends in the Dunya (world) will be our friends in the Akhira (afterlife). It is therefore vital for a Muslim to choose good friends.

The love between two Muslim friends is such that they would confide in each other, help each other in times of need and strengthen each other’s commitment to the Deen of Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’aala). The Prophet (SallAllahu alaihi wasallam) encouraged for Muslims who have love for each other not to keep it to themselves.

It has been narrated by al-Bukhari in al-Adaabul-Mufrad (no. 191) that Allah’s Messenger (SallAllahu alaihi wasallam) said,

ÅÐÇ ÃÍÈ ÃÍÏßã ÃÎÇå ÝáíÎÈÑå Ãäå íÍÈå<br>“If one of you loves his brother for Allah’s sake, then let him tell him since it causes familiarity to endure and firmly establishes love”.

Abu Huraira narrated that the Prophet (SallAllahu alaihi wasallam) said,

(áÇ ÊÏÎáæÇ ÇáÌäÉ ÍÊì ÊÄãäæÇ æáÇ ÊÄãäæÇ ÍÊì ÊÍÇÈæÇ¡ ÃáÇ ÃÏáßã Úáì ÔíÁ ÅÐÇ ÝÚáÊãæå ÊÍÇÈÈÊã¿ ÃÝÔæÇ ÇáÓáÇã Èíäßã)
“You will not enter Paradise until you believe, and you will not believe until you love one another. Shall I not guide you to something which if you carry out you will love one another. Spread as-Salaam amongst yourselves.” [Muslim]

Friendship in Islam is not based on using each other; on the contrary, helping each other to stay away from the Haram is fundamental to it. How could someone watch his brother burn without doing anything to save him? A person who did that would be ones worst enemy rather than a friend. Therefore Muslims always warn and advise each other. The Prophet (SallAllahu alaihi wasallam) said,

Åä ÃÍÏßã ãÑÂÉ ÃÎíå ÝÅÐÇ ÑÃì Ýíå ÔíÆÇð ÝáíãØå Úäå<br>"Each of you is the mirror of his brother, so if he sees any fault in him he should wipe it away from him." [Tirmidhi]

This means the purpose of confiding secrets to each other wouldn't be as in the Western values where people confide their secrets to feel good knowing that they will not be a comeback. Rather in Islam we confide our secrets to our friends to seek their sincere advice and help. So a Muslim will ask his friends about issues relating to marriage, problems within his family, troubles he feels at work or fears that he has.

Friendship has rules in Islam unlike in the West - to visit them especially when they are ill, to inquire about their family, feeding them when they are hungry, attending to their needs, keeping their private affairs to yourself and sharing your wealth with them without hesitation. It is related that Ibn Umar (ra) was looking about from right to left in the presence of the Prophet (SallAllahu alaihi wasallam), who asked the reason for doing so. Ibn Umar replied, “There is someone dear to me and I am searching for him, but do not see him”. The Prophet (SallAllahu alaihi wasallam) then said,

Umar bin Al-Khattab (ra) said, "Encountering your brothers lifts all grief. If Allah blesses you with good relations with another Muslim, hold fast to it".